Linger....Longer - A Quick Change in Perspective as a Busy Mother

The other morning as I got out of the shower, I picked him up out of his playpen and his little body collapsed into mine.

Normally when he’s in my arms, he squirms around to see anything and everything that’s going on around us.

But this time is little arm looped up around my neck and his cheek rested on my shoulder.

I don’t know if it was my warm clean skin, or the 15 minutes we’d spent apart while I showered, but he stayed like this for the length of 2 full songs on the radio.

At first, I hugged him back and was going to put him down so I could get dressed, but something told me to hold on.

I put my hand on his little back, and in the kitchen, he in a diaper, and me just in my towel, we swayed back and forth to the music playing.

I know he won’t remember this when he’s older, but I will.

As I stood there, tears welling up, I thought… someday I’m going to look at you, you’ll be 17 and taller than me, and I’m going to remember this exact moment.

And every other moment that I held you, that I was your whole world, that your little body felt so safe in my arms, your skin against mine.

To feel so deeply is such a blessing and also so hard.

Loving you literally makes my heart hurt, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.